As children, many of us have read the fairytale, “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”, a story about Goldilocks’ plight to find a bowl of porridge, a chair, and a bed that was “just right” for her liking. (We’ll ignore the fact that she was essentially a squatter who broke into the home of three bears. This post is about finding a therapist, not morals or ethics.) Committed to her mission, Goldilocks tries out different bowls of porridge, chairs, and beds until she finally lands on the ones that are the best fit for her. Just like Goldilocks, sometimes it takes a few (or more) tries before finally finding a therapist who can best meet our needs and with whom we feel comfortable working.
For those who have already dipped their toes into mental health care, picking a therapist is a lot easier; you know what therapy is like and may even have an idea of the kind of therapist you are looking for (e.g., theoretical orientation, etc.). For those to whom therapy is completely unfamiliar, the journey to finding a therapist can feel daunting.
“So, how do I find the right therapist for me,” you ask? Here are some tips:
Ask for an initial consult
Did you know that some therapists offer free introductory phone calls (i.e., consults)? If it’s not advertised on their website, ask for one. Consults are usually around 15 minutes (approximately). They give you an opportunity to talk briefly about what you want to address in therapy, ask the therapist questions about his/her/their background and therapy approach, and see if it’s a good personality fit. As 15 minutes isn’t a lot of time to figure out whether or not you want to work with someone, it often takes trying out at least a few sessions before deciding if you're going to commit to working with someone on a longer-term basis.
Think about your goals
Although it’s not always necessary to have a definitive picture of what you want to work on before you start therapy (as the therapist can help you clarify your goals), it’s helpful to have something more than, “I just want to feel better”. This is partly because when you do start therapy, it helps therapists determine whether or not it’s a good fit based on their expertise. That leads me to the next section…
Ask about the therapist’s areas of expertise
Therapy is not a “one size fits all” profession. Just like medical providers, therapists develop their own niches and expertise based on their training and experience. You wouldn’t, for example, see a neurologist if you wanted to talk about weight management. If you’re not sure about a therapist’s background or specialties, ask him/her/them.
Demographics
Ask yourself, “Who do I feel comfortable working with?” Think about this question in terms of race, gender identity, and age range. Now is the time to be very honest with yourself about who you feel most comfortable sharing personal, intimate information with; this is crucial in developing trust and safety with a therapist.
Medication
If you want to talk to someone about medications, you typically have to see a medical provider; this means, you have to see someone with a medical degree such as MD, NP, or PA. While some medical providers also offer therapy, a lot don’t. If you want to see the same person for both medications and therapy, you will have to see a medical provider as unless you live in a state that grants prescription privileges to psychologists (e.g., LA, etc.), therapists with a PhD, PsyD, LMFT or LCSW do not prescribe medication.
Finances
Unfortunately, there are a lot of therapists in private practice who do not accept insurance (including me). (There are various reasons for this that I won’t get into here.) For those who have out-of-network coverage, you will be given a superbill, which is like a receipt that insurance companies require for reimbursement. To try and offset the cost of therapy, many therapists offer a sliding scale to those who have financial insecurity; if this is not advertised on a therapist’s website, ask him/her/them about it.
Use your gut
Ultimately, if something doesn’t feel right, it might not be a good fit. I’m not referring to the discomfort that often comes with talking about life’s challenges - this is more about using your gut to inform you whether or not this is someone you can work with. In this respect, therapy is a lot like dating. For example, let’s say you go on a date with someone who looked good on paper, but you walked away with a nondescript feeling that this was not the right person for you. The same goes for therapy; if your gut tells you something is amiss, listen to it.
Comentarios